


Spiralling

by bambibabyx



Category: Shameless (US)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24080419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bambibabyx/pseuds/bambibabyx
Summary: Debbie Gallagher falls into a different type of addiction than the rest of her family; anorexia. Trying to grasp control over her life whilst she sees her whole family spiral, she has no idea this level of control will end up overtaking her. This isn't written to glamorize or romanticise ED's, instead it's written to explore the dark side of such a consuming disorder, alongside family reactions and the hope for recovery.
Relationships: Carl Gallagher & Debbie Gallagher, Debbie Gallagher & Ian Gallagher, Debbie Gallagher & Lip Gallagher, Debbie Gallagher & Monica Gallagher, Debbie Gallagher/Fiona Gallagher, Fiona Gallagher & Lip Gallagher, Ian Gallagher & Lip Gallagher
Kudos: 7





	Spiralling

**Author's Note:**

> hello! it's been years since i've written, so i apologise if i'm a little rusty. i thought it'd be interesting to focus on debbie's perspective of her family, whilst being a teenager and dealing with all her issues. it's going to be mostly non-canon, and i dont think there'll be many spoilers at all.  
> im very much aware of how debilitating and all consuming eating disorders are, so i hope you all enjoy this journey of debbie slowly falling into it's trap and the consequences that follow.

“Breakfast!” Fiona’s voice abruptly broke Debbie out of her sleep, but it wasn’t something that particularly surprised her or annoyed her. Maybe it was because it had been a while since Fiona’s bellow echoed around so early, or maybe it was because it was Debbie’s first day as a sophomore. Probably the latter.  
Her eyes blinked open and she felt a twinge of nerves, but also excitement. Pushing her wild hair away from her face, she sat up in her bed and stretched out her arms before pulling at the curtains to let some light in. “First day of sophomore year, Debs.” she muttered to herself, somewhat fondly, as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and blinked a couple times to get adjusted to the light.  
“Liam! Carl! Debbie!” Fiona’s voice called out again, along with the sound of the frying pan on the hob and the rustling of lunch bags.  
“Co-MING!” Debbie called out back, rolling her eyes as she stood up. She was fifteen years old, she didn’t need Fiona screaming at her to be on time. Maybe she had needed Fiona’s voice to wake her up, but that was besides the point. Opening up her wardrobe doors, she picked out a pair of jeans, a black strappy top and a purple bra. Holly would like this outfit, she thought to herself. Holly who seemed to have her shit together, all guys falling for her and all the answers. Debbie was a smart girl, but a smart girl in academia. She was good with numbers and she enjoyed literature, but it was boys she couldn’t figure out. There was something missing, within herself, and she wasn’t quite sure what that thing was. What the element was that made her different to Holly. She could see the obvious, Holly’s long, blonde hair or her collection of sparkly lipglosses.. but there was still something missing.  
Stepping in front of the mirror as she took her clothes off, she allowed herself to quickly roam her eyes over her naked body but it didn’t last long. She always felt a twinge whenever she allowed herself to take her physical self in. There was just… so much of her. Fiona was long legs and lean arms, Veronica was tiny waist and big boobs and Debbie was… well, Debbie. Baby cheeks, red, frizzy haired Debbie. Giving a little sigh as she put on her clothes and pulled her hair back into a half up, half down hairstyle, she grabbed her schoolbag and made her way downstairs, grunting Carl’s name as he pushed past her to get to the downstairs bathroom before she did. “Goddamn it.” she mumbled as she set her schoolbag down on the table and walked round the kitchen to pour herself a cup of black coffee.  
“Morning Debs! Excited for your first day?” Fiona asked, but her attention wasn’t really on Debbie as she placed food in front of Liam and told Carl off for playing with his food. Debbie had been self-sufficient her whole life, she was a middle child and she was hardly any trouble. Apart from some concerning actions when she was younger, specifically regarding baby theft, she was quite a mellow child compared to the rest. She wasn’t out drinking or partying, wasn’t out playing with knives or working the street corner. All in all, Debbie kept her head down, did her work and tried to help the family stay afloat as much as she could.  
“Squirrel fund is running low, times are tough right now and winter’s in a few months so I’d really appreciate if we can all pitch in.” Fiona spoke, not at anyone in particular but all the siblings were in the kitchen and all mumbled and grumbled to show they agreed.  
Realistically, Debbie knew she had to get a job during term time. She was 15 now, and although she ran the child day care over summer, she could hardly do that during the day now that school had started.

-

School had been pretty standard. Younger Debbie would’ve expected things to change over summer and to have high hopes for the first day of school, ultimately leading to her getting let down. Current day Debbie, however, knew her school was a shit hole, knew most people were shit and knew things weren’t really changing for her. So she was a satisfied level of content with the first day. She had also managed to print off some copies of her resume at the library and set herself on the task of finding a job for the afternoons after school, especially now that the weather was still pleasant and it would still be light when she went to work after school. In two and a half hours, Debbie had done a couple interviews at fast food restaurants and as a cleaning lady for the gym before managing to snag a position as a busser at a local restaurant nearby. It wasn’t the most glamorous job, but Debbie enjoyed keeping busy and she wanted to have her own money. She liked being able to just depend on herself for funds this summer and wanted to continue doing so. The restaurant that had hired her was a thirty five minute walk from their home, and she looked up at the sky, enjoying the serenity that filled the air as a warm fall breeze blew around her and birds chirped as they flew by. However, the peace and quiet was quickly disturbed as she turned onto her street and could hear distinctive yells coming from her house. Debbie gave a small sigh as she walked up the porch stairs and pushed open the front door. Lip and Ian were having a screaming match against Frank, who was covered in dirt, eyes bloodshot but bright teeth shining through his unkept facial hair. “Now you really think this is what God had in mind when he said “honor thy father” in the 10 commandments? Had we been born centuries ago, I would have you ungrateful swines beaten just for looking at me the wrong way! Is this really what it has come to? Your poor father just needing somewhere to sl-“ but his rant was interrupted by Lip pushing him out the front door, smell of booze leaving Frank and Lip.  
Debbie swerved round the two men and nonchalantly walked up the stairs. This was a regular occurrence but it didn’t mean Debbie didn’t feel some shame when she saw the situations go down. It wasn’t just Frank, or Monica, barging in and chipping away at their lives. It was everyone letting themselves… letting themselves lose control due to other people or substances.  
Control. That’s what it was. Debbie genuinely didn’t understand how her family would lose all inhibitions from drinking a beer, or smoking weed, or in the case of her parents, shooting up or snorting whatever they could find. They lost all sense of free will and everything spiralled, and that was something Debbie couldn’t wrap her head around. And when things spiralled, Debbie focused on one thing to keep her breathing. When chaos surrounded her, she’d dissociate and focus on her breathing. Or focus on her homework. She liked math. Math was what it was. Numbers meant what they meant, and one result lead to another. There wasn’t lying. There wasn’t scamming, it was just… it. Debbie walked over to her desk and rearranged her books on the table, taking out her pens and highlighters and organising the work she had to do for the next day, blocking out the crashes and yells she could hear downstairs.


End file.
